The Sweaty Cretin Podcast

Tuesday, Jul 29, 2008

August 2008

(29 downloads)

Download this episode (37 min)
It's Wrestlin' Time! One year ago, a young chap called The Sweaty Cretin decided that it would be a spiffing idea to take some time out from lurking on 4chan and record his babblings, sprinkle in some of his favourite choons and post the whole lot on the Internet. The wierdo is still here. LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.

This months ripoffs:

Pennywise,
Queens of the Stone Age,
Dugong,
Deftones,
Hundred Reasons,
Orange Goblin,
Biffy Clyro,
Bayside.

email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com,
BRAND NEW LOVELY BLOG FOR YOUR DELIGHTS: thesweatycretin.blogspot.com

www.thesweatycretin.tk

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 1:25 PM | MAKE A COMMENT

Monday, Jun 30, 2008

July 2008

(253 downloads)

Download this episode (35 min)
Don't listen if you value your giblets. Here we go again for another month. Behold as I shamble through another podcast, abusing and violating you with a fetid mind groping. It doesn't get any better. Why are you still listening? Ahh that's it, the subliminal messages must be working (KILL YOUR FAMILY). Keep it up and these tunes will have you flapping like a three titted prostitute at a nipple disco. Baby, you make me wish I had three hands.

Musty Gits in order of appearence.

Thrice,
The Don Ramos Players,
Rythmic Coughing,
Calvinball!,
Cillit BANG!,
Rise Against,
Weezer,
Bayside,
The Bronx.

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 2:59 PM | MAKE A COMMENT

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

June 2008

(144 downloads)

Download this episode (40 min)
And lo, The Sweaty Cretin came forth and proclaimed that thouest the luckiest bastards on the Interwebs, for he has discharged another musical ejactulation into your eager and waiting cranial orifices. OPEN YOUR MINDS/MOUTHS/UMBRELLAS. This mighty month of June sees me, The Sweaty Cretin, make my monthly release of musical and oral tomfoolery for your delight and delectation. Morose ramblings abound mixed with some dirty electronic beats and random gibberish. Remember, just because it looks like chocolate doesn't mean it is.

Spacktarded attempts at funkay choons appear from these artists:

Aphex Twin,
Drumsound and Bassline Smith,
NIN,
The Prodigy,
DJ Format,
Beastie Boys,
Future Prophecies.

Now go on, piss off! I've not got time to fanny about!

www.thesweatycretin.tk email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 1:45 PM | MAKE A COMMENT

Saturday, May 03, 2008

COMPO HAS NOTHING ON ME

(144 downloads)

Download this episode (17 sec)
HOT PISS STOP THE PRESSES DON'T CRY FOR ME YUGOSLAVIA!
Here's some incredibly hot news for you most hot and sweaty people.
I have decided to hold a competition for you all to win some ubershit stuff that I can't be arsed to sell on eBay but don't want to just chuck in the bin.
Up for your delectable clutches are a Sweaty Cretin Tshirt with the logo designed by the most affable Monty (www.myspace.com/haulmonty) that you can see plastered all over the fucking place plus some other mess that I have found stuffed in the recesses of my bedroom.
All you have to do is send me a picture or a little movie of where you are listening to the Podcast; the more outlandish the better. Just so that I know it's not just a snap of you gurning at the cam on a random night out, make a little sign with 'www.thesweatycretin.tk' on it and hold it up in the photo alongside your MP3 player or other technological monstrosity that you listen to my verbal diahorea on. The most bizzare/brilliant/supadoopa will win all of the above guff.
Send all of your entries to my email address: thesweatycretin@mindless.com
Pass the mayonaise.

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 2:01 PM | MAKE A COMMENT

Sunday, Apr 20, 2008

May 2008

(186 downloads)

Download this episode (38 min)
Get your torches and pitchforks ready because that genetic mess called The Sweaty Cretin is back in your village raping your houses and burning your women. Behold his hideous visage as he gurns, snuffles and vomits into your ears, whilst simultaneously jumping on your testicles (or breasts if you're woman, I don't want to been seen as some sort of rampant sexist here).
Complimentary napkins will be offered at the end of this months Podcast. All hail.

People who are sure to sue my include:

Protest the Hero,
Capdown,
Avenue Q,
Evil Nine,
Jon Lajoie,
As Friends Rust,
Symphony X
and
Beecher

www.thesweatycretin.com email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 10:00 AM | 1 comments

Sunday, Mar 23, 2008

April 2008

(219 downloads)

Download this episode (38 min)
Shambling like a moribund obese man on his way to Burger King for his favourite type of heart fucking, Aprils podcast come weezing, puffing and swearing through the door of your life. It shall steal all of your good furniture and piss all over your pets before farting all over your pillows on it's way out. Make love, not cheap cars. Or pop music. Or Justin Timberlake. Or anything to do with squid.

The following shindig includes, in order:
Future Prophecies,
Dance Gavin Dance,
Bal Sagoth,
Karnivool,
Papa Fucking Roach,
The Number Twelve Looks Like You,
The Don Ramos Players.

www.thesweatycretin.tk, email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com
Little fish? COOOM OOON!

Posted by The Sweaty Cretin at 8:28 AM | MAKE A COMMENT

Wednesday, Feb 27, 2008

March 2008

(217 downloads)

Download this episode (29 min)
Hello my hairy children.
Cover your eyes, ears and other orifices for the filth has returned! This superdooperwooper podcast stupor is here and nobody is safe. Not even your pets.
I throw down the gauntlet in true British fasion (ie, rather snootily and when anything bad starts to happen I run away LIKE A LITTLE GIRL) and challanged decent morals to near prosecution.

Artists formerly known as good are:
The Fall Of Troy,
The Gaslight Anthem,
Machine Gun Fellatio,
Berri Txarrak,
Blur,
Ignite,
Rise Against,
Paramore.