The Sweaty Cretin Podcast

August 2008

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:25:00 +0000

It's Wrestlin' Time! One year ago, a young chap called The Sweaty Cretin decided that it would be a spiffing idea to take some time out from lurking on 4chan and record his babblings, sprinkle in some of his favourite choons and post the whole lot on the Internet. The wierdo is still here. LOVE ME AND DESPAIR. This months ripoffs: Pennywise, Queens of the Stone Age, Dugong, Deftones, Hundred Reasons, Orange Goblin, Biffy Clyro, Bayside. email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com, BRAND NEW LOVELY BLOG FOR YOUR DELIGHTS: thesweatycretin.blogspot.com www.thesweatycretin.tk

July 2008

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:59:00 +0000

Don't listen if you value your giblets. Here we go again for another month. Behold as I shamble through another podcast, abusing and violating you with a fetid mind groping. It doesn't get any better. Why are you still listening? Ahh that's it, the subliminal messages must be working (KILL YOUR FAMILY). Keep it up and these tunes will have you flapping like a three titted prostitute at a nipple disco. Baby, you make me wish I had three hands. Musty Gits in order of appearence. Thrice, The Don Ramos Players, Rythmic Coughing, Calvinball!, Cillit BANG!, Rise Against, Weezer, Bayside, The Bronx.

June 2008

Wed, 28 May 2008 13:45:00 +0000

And lo, The Sweaty Cretin came forth and proclaimed that thouest the luckiest bastards on the Interwebs, for he has discharged another musical ejactulation into your eager and waiting cranial orifices. OPEN YOUR MINDS/MOUTHS/UMBRELLAS. This mighty month of June sees me, The Sweaty Cretin, make my monthly release of musical and oral tomfoolery for your delight and delectation. Morose ramblings abound mixed with some dirty electronic beats and random gibberish. Remember, just because it looks like chocolate doesn't mean it is. Spacktarded attempts at funkay choons appear from these artists: Aphex Twin, Drumsound and Bassline Smith, NIN, The Prodigy, DJ Format, Beastie Boys, Future Prophecies. Now go on, piss off! I've not got time to fanny about! www.thesweatycretin.tk email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com

COMPO HAS NOTHING ON ME

Sat, 03 May 2008 14:01:00 +0000

HOT PISS STOP THE PRESSES DON'T CRY FOR ME YUGOSLAVIA! Here's some incredibly hot news for you most hot and sweaty people. I have decided to hold a competition for you all to win some ubershit stuff that I can't be arsed to sell on eBay but don't want to just chuck in the bin. Up for your delectable clutches are a Sweaty Cretin Tshirt with the logo designed by the most affable Monty (www.myspace.com/haulmonty) that you can see plastered all over the fucking place plus some other mess that I have found stuffed in the recesses of my bedroom. All you have to do is send me a picture or a little movie of where you are listening to the Podcast; the more outlandish the better. Just so that I know it's not just a snap of you gurning at the cam on a random night out, make a little sign with 'www.thesweatycretin.tk' on it and hold it up in the photo alongside your MP3 player or other technological monstrosity that you listen to my verbal diahorea on. The most bizzare/brilliant/supadoopa will win all of the above guff. Send all of your entries to my email address: thesweatycretin@mindless.com Pass the mayonaise.

May 2008

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 10:00:00 +0000

Get your torches and pitchforks ready because that genetic mess called The Sweaty Cretin is back in your village raping your houses and burning your women. Behold his hideous visage as he gurns, snuffles and vomits into your ears, whilst simultaneously jumping on your testicles (or breasts if you're woman, I don't want to been seen as some sort of rampant sexist here). Complimentary napkins will be offered at the end of this months Podcast. All hail. People who are sure to sue my include: Protest the Hero, Capdown, Avenue Q, Evil Nine, Jon Lajoie, As Friends Rust, Symphony X and Beecher www.thesweatycretin.com email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com

April 2008

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 08:28:00 +0000

Shambling like a moribund obese man on his way to Burger King for his favourite type of heart fucking, Aprils podcast come weezing, puffing and swearing through the door of your life. It shall steal all of your good furniture and piss all over your pets before farting all over your pillows on it's way out. Make love, not cheap cars. Or pop music. Or Justin Timberlake. Or anything to do with squid. The following shindig includes, in order: Future Prophecies, Dance Gavin Dance, Bal Sagoth, Karnivool, Papa Fucking Roach, The Number Twelve Looks Like You, The Don Ramos Players. www.thesweatycretin.tk, email: thesweatycretin@mindless.com Little fish? COOOM OOON!

March 2008

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 13:32:00 +0000

Hello my hairy children. Cover your eyes, ears and other orifices for the filth has returned! This superdooperwooper podcast stupor is here and nobody is safe. Not even your pets. I throw down the gauntlet in true British fasion (ie, rather snootily and when anything bad starts to happen I run away LIKE A LITTLE GIRL) and challanged decent morals to near prosecution. Artists formerly known as good are: The Fall Of Troy, The Gaslight Anthem, Machine Gun Fellatio, Berri Txarrak, Blur, Ignite, Rise Against, Paramore.

February 2008

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 11:15:00 +0000

Some things are like a bad penny. No matter how hard you try, they always keep on cropping up at awkward moments like the urge to fart when you've got a dose of the shits. Like those annoying adverts for Viagra I am back again to educate and pontificate on subjects that I should leave well alone and give you music that should be filed away under 'What is that shite?'. On this months podcast:

Artists in order:

At The Drive In, Curl Up And Die, Botch, Converge, Weezer, Foo Fighters. Plus, Japanese singing and why I don't go to church.

January 2008

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 10:13:00 +0000

Like that idea for a flying bike that you scribbled on the back of a beer mat during a rather pissy night down the pub, I have mangled together something that is ridiculous and could result in broken limbs. This New Year podcast has a distinctly British feel with music to tantilise and titilate (I said tit! Fnar!) your rosy lugholes. Please don't hate me too much. Filty Musos: Hundred Reasons, The Ghost of a Thousand, Fig 4.0, The Mercy Suite, Million Dead, Send More Paramedics, Bring Me The Horizon and Stop That Astronaut. Don't forget, you can bleat like a lost lamb to me here: thesweatycretin@mindless.com, or you can thoroughly abuse me on the podcast homepage.

December 2007

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 08:46:00 +0000

"Why, WHY??!" I hear you scream, but yes I have decided to cobble together another 'deposit' of so called music to thoroughly piss everyone off with. This month I have dedicated the podcast to songs of the more metal variety with some rather delectable examples. Fartists in order of appearance this month are: Between the Buried and Me, Dragonforce, Curl Up and Die, Slayer, Lamb of God, Me talking shit. If you want to suggest anything or send some abuse just email me at thesweatycretin@mindless.com

November 2007

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:43:00 +0000

Sup. Fiendishly late and moronically produced, I hereby present another ear crime in the making. Artistes on this Months debacle: Every Time I Die Foo Fighters Drumcorps Million Dead Thrice and The Bronx Plus the website of the month and a very good reason not to use skype.

The Sweaty Cretin - October 2007

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 05:00:00 +0000

With the wisdom of Taoist Monks and the low brow attitude of Roy 'Chubby' Brown, I have seen fit to release some more heinous aural cuntery that I call Octobers Sweaty Cretin Podcast. Interesting features you will find on board are the Chess/Lapdancing club and various musical delights that will surely bore you to tears. Listen and then tell everyone about it, even if it's to save the poor bastards from wasting half an hour of their lives.

September 2007

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:07:00 +0000

New tracks from up and coming band this month plus an interesting Bizarre Club of the month!

August 2007

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 13:10:00 +0000

The Sweaty Cretin Podcast for August 2007. A mish mash of rock , metal and hardcore with a possible peppering of random stuff. In a band? I'd love you to feature in my podcast. Get in contact and I'll put you in!